Ok, sissies, I know you’re curious about how to approach a Mistress…

And if you’re not, you should be! After all, it’s an important kinky life skill. When you decide you’d like to branch out and go meet new people, there’s a certain protocol that we tend to follow. While some people certainly seem like they know all the social and cultural ‘rules’, in reality, all that stuff is learned behavior. How to approach, what to say, how to hold your body, and when to disengage and back off are all things that any sissy can learn, apply, and benefit from. So, here’s your lesson on how to approach a Mistress!

Let’s start with approaching someone in the real world:

There are parties, munches, events, and all sorts of soirees and social events for kinksters. The one you’re most likely to attend when starting out in the kink world would be a munch. A munch is a meetup for kinky folks, in a public, non-kinky environment, that gives everyone the chance to scope out the group. Because it’s non-kinky and non-sexual, a lot of the pressure is off, and everyone had the opportunity to decide if you or anyone else is a creepy weirdo. Here’s how to approach a Mistress at a munch in particular, or any public kink or fetish related event.

Take a deep breath, straighten your spine, and unclench your jaw. Relax, try to put your nerves to one side, no one’s going to attack you for failing to approach properly. Eye contact (I know, it’s hard, but look up, at least at her chin), and introduce yourself. You can offer a hand to shake, or just keep your hands lightly clasped in front of yourself. “Hi, I’m X, and I saw that you’re a dominant. I’d love to chat with you, if that’s ok?” is a great opener. It’s got your name, an observation, and a request for time and attention. The Mistress can say sure, or admit that she’s tight on time and needs to run, or anything in between. Asking open-ended questions is a good way to get a conversation started!

If you’re interested in trying to arrange a session or scene, try “Hi, I’m X, and I love how you did Y to Z over there! That was awesome! I’d love to have you do something like that me! Do you have time to talk about a session tonight?” or, if you’re at a munch, try “…I’d love to set up a scene for the party next week, do you have time to discuss it?”

If you’re online, and want to approach a Mistress…

Be polite! A mistress isn’t just sitting at her computer waiting for your chat to pop up. Any of the people online are just that, people, with lives and other things going on at the same time.It’s entirely possible that you may drop a message to someone on fetlife and just miss them, or maybe they were asleep… You could send and email or tweet, and not get a response, but that’s no excuse for going off on the Mistress. Remember your manners, and that people online are just that: people. The same openers that work for face to face interactions work online, too. If you want to approach a Mistress online, try introducing yourself, mention something about the Mistress that you admire or like, and then ask an open-ended question.

Really, most of the advice for how to approach a Mistress?

Be polite, don’t be too scared or nervous to approach in the first place, and remember your manners. A polite sissy gets far more attention than a sissy who stares and never approaches at all out of nerves. Sissies who immediately try to roleplay with a Mistress, cold out of the box, will also wind up with the short end of the stick: save anything that involves your genitals for after you have a relationship of some sort with the Mistress. Running up to a stranger and talking about how you’d kiss their feet is like humping a stranger’s leg in public. Bad, bad sissy, down.

Take my advice, and go approach a Mistress!

You can do it, darlings. Be brave, polite, and remember your manners.

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