This Pride month let’s pause for a moment to consider a very important question and topic. Are you a sissy, or are you trans? Before we really dive in, we’ll want to make sure we’re all on the same wavelength in regards to exactly what some of our vocabulary means, and then we’ll want to make sure we’re clear on who gets to define your personal internal identity. Once we’re clear on all that, we can dive into the question and really start to explore the sissy, trans, or just a dirty perverted cock stroker question. Are you sissy or trans? (Or maybe you’re an Egg!)
Every good deep question should start with some vocabulary terms!
What’s a sissy? When we’re talking about things like this, we all want to be using words in roughly the same way so that no one gets confused. Some terms in the kinky fetish world are open to interpretation, like “sissy”, so let’s go on ahead and nail that down for the purposes of this conversation. A sissy is a person who enjoys a performance of exaggerated femininity. What do I mean by a ‘performance’? Well, the vast majority of sissies don’t live full time as a sissy! They put on their sissy persona for a weekend, or an evening of fun. They dress, and do their makeup, and enjoy the moment, but they often do not publicly identify as a sissy, or live 24/7 as a feminized sissy. The ‘sissy’ is like a costume they put on for a while, and then take off again.
When I say ‘exaggerated femininity’ of course I mean exactly that. The sissy sometimes aims to pass as a woman, but most of the folks who like this fetish aren’t worried about passing. Instead, they enjoy elements of feminine life turned up to 11, so to speak. Sissy fetish outfits are often extremely frilly, with lace and tulle, feature bows and rosettes, and the color pink is a perennial favorite with sissy fetishists. The outfits a sissy might wear are seldom the sorts of things a woman would choose to wear out to the grocery, or to a brunch with her friends. They are an exaggeration of feminine stereotypes, rather than normal women’s clothes.
What does ‘trans’ mean? We’re not talking about your Chemistry class here, oh no. Instead, in modern terms, trans means ‘not cis’, where ‘cis’ means ‘agrees with the gender assigned at birth.’ Let me simplify that; when you were born some lucky medical worker looked at your bits and declared that you looked like a male, or a female. (We’re going to ignore the hefty chunk of the population with ambiguous genitalia while we’re working on this definition, but I did want to note that it’s possible to be born intersex.) As you grew up, you either agreed with what that medical professional declared to be your gender, or you didn’t. Or perhaps you reached adulthood and realized you disagreed with that long ago opinion. If you agree, you’re cis. If you disagree with the gender given to you at your birth, you’re trans.
So who does get to decide if you’re a sissy or trans?
This one’s very, very simple: the only person who gets to say with any definitive authority whether you are a sissy or trans person is YOU. The buck stops right here, and all the power and authority is yours. You might want to hand over that power in a fantasy scenario, and that’s good and healthy. Letting your Mistress declare that you are definitely a sissy and will be living your life as a trans woman from now on, no matter how you stomp your cute feet and cry? That’s a fun fantasy to play with. But when it comes to questions of your personal inner identity? Sorry babe, but that’s all you.
So, what are you?!
Gosh, the deep philosophical questions of life brought to you on a Sissy Lifestyle Blog! I bet you weren’t really expecting something this deep when you were looking for wank material. But here we are, unexpectedly deep in the weeds, facing the fundamental question of personal identity. Let me lighten the atmosphere a little for you: it doesn’t matter. You can be a sissy, or a trans person, or somewhere in between! You can mix and match your personal identity and sense of self, and it’s all allowed, all permissible, all wonderful and good and human. The line between the sissy fetish and the trans identity is so fine and thin we can argue it back and forth for days, darlings. I will tell you a lot of people who enjoy the sissy fantasy do discover at some point that they’re a little trans. Or a lot trans. And a big chunk of sissy fans just like to be a little humiliated and jerk off with panties!
The Sissy Fetish or Fantasy is a thing you do, and can be part of your lifestyle. The Trans Identity is who you are. And no one can really tell you who you are, or what you do! All this power exchange “Mistress Made Me Do It” stuff is just fun and games. At the end of the day, only YOU get to decide if or how those words apply to you. And if you’d like to explore these ideas further, you know what to do. Pick up the phone and give us a call!
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I am definitely sissy rather than trans. I fantasize about being a girl, wearing girly things certainly turns me on (especially lipstick!), but in the end I really don’t want to be someone else. It’s a fantasy I play with, and might act out for real if I find the right person to do it with.
Until then I’ll keep looking for just the right lipstick (I have 10-15 of them, still looking!)
The answer is, kind of sort of both.
For my humiliation fetish, I like to be a sissy with some cuckold thrown into the mix. But I’m not sissy for a man, I’m sissy for a dominant woman which sometimes includes serving a man but the dominant woman is still in control and what I will or won’t do for the man is negotiated with the dominant woman.
When I’m sissy, it’s about my kink, not my gender.
When I’m trans presenting feminine, it’s about my gender, not my sexuality, and I’m kind of asexual in that mode.
When I present male, it’s habit but I don’t really care about appearance or fashion or whatever even though I’m not asexual in that mode. It’s not really a man by societies construct of what a man is.
I suppose non-binary is probably the best description.
It’s hard for me to describe even to myself.
What I am is what I am, are you what you are or what?
Maybe Androgynous is a good description?